Camping

A quick note. I'm going camping starting tonight. I hope to have pictures to share with you all. I'll even tell you the story of the first time I went...

I hope you guys have love and light in your life. Enjoy the weekend.

The Fate of J

One of the worst things of having decided to move on is that I knew J would be left behind. It’s not because of all of those macho things you might think:

“I’m a young guy, he cramps my style.”
“Chicks don’t want to with a kid in the room.”
“I’m not dressing him.”

The basic fact is that J is in Foster Care. In any state to be certified to be a foster parent, not only do you have to have extensive training and pass a background check, your home must also meet approval. If it sounds like cake then you’re wrong. Having the house pass inspection is the toughest thing in the world simply because we overlook the things that they feel are incredibly pivotal to the well being of a child.

Since I’m the one that moved, the housing that I would be using would have to pass inspection and while I like my new pad, I don’t think its kid friendly in the slightest. Travis has been a bachelor for far too long. His walls are covered with bottle tops from his beers, there’s rodeo memorabilia in every nook and out favorite whiskey, Pendleton, has made a home there as there’s a good dozen empty bottles (Fifths and Half Gallons) on top of the fridge. One dog, but sometimes two or three, depending on who’s there.

Knowing all of this I knew that keeping him with me would not happen. I have no furniture in my room except for an air mattress and some storage bins. It’s not a place to keep a boy.

I have been debating on what to do with him.

The debate is out of my hands.

M told the state that I was no longer living there and they automatically told her that she wasn’t going to be able to adopt him.

I’m torn between breathing a sigh of relief and complete anguish. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him now and I feel like I’m responsible for it.

I’ll keep moving, I always do but still, it feels like another one I’ve let down.