Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Fate of J

One of the worst things of having decided to move on is that I knew J would be left behind. It’s not because of all of those macho things you might think:

“I’m a young guy, he cramps my style.”
“Chicks don’t want to with a kid in the room.”
“I’m not dressing him.”

The basic fact is that J is in Foster Care. In any state to be certified to be a foster parent, not only do you have to have extensive training and pass a background check, your home must also meet approval. If it sounds like cake then you’re wrong. Having the house pass inspection is the toughest thing in the world simply because we overlook the things that they feel are incredibly pivotal to the well being of a child.

Since I’m the one that moved, the housing that I would be using would have to pass inspection and while I like my new pad, I don’t think its kid friendly in the slightest. Travis has been a bachelor for far too long. His walls are covered with bottle tops from his beers, there’s rodeo memorabilia in every nook and out favorite whiskey, Pendleton, has made a home there as there’s a good dozen empty bottles (Fifths and Half Gallons) on top of the fridge. One dog, but sometimes two or three, depending on who’s there.

Knowing all of this I knew that keeping him with me would not happen. I have no furniture in my room except for an air mattress and some storage bins. It’s not a place to keep a boy.

I have been debating on what to do with him.

The debate is out of my hands.

M told the state that I was no longer living there and they automatically told her that she wasn’t going to be able to adopt him.

I’m torn between breathing a sigh of relief and complete anguish. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him now and I feel like I’m responsible for it.

I’ll keep moving, I always do but still, it feels like another one I’ve let down.


Anonymous said...

The first question that came to mind when I read your post was "Why did M tell the state?" She must've known the consequences of her actions. I can only assume that he either her cramped her addiction lifestyle or she had thought to use him to leverage you in some way.

The next thing I thought, was Oh My God. My heart cries out for the poor boy. Still, when all is said and done, he should never have been in a home with an addict in the first place. I guess the state missed that part of their inspection.

My heart also cried out for you, Luciel. What a horrible thing you are going through on all fronts. Sending you good vibes.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, they don't make things easy nowadays do they?

I hope you are doing well, and I hope the best for you both.

Like Game said above, the child should have never been in a home like that in the first place. Things happen that throw things horribly awry sometimes. I still have a feeling more good will come out of this than ill though.

Keeping you in my prayers, Luciel, and the ones you hold dear.



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