Update

I know I'm verbose. I sat down this morning and started writing an update but honestly it felt contrived and fake and I owe you guys more than that. I owe MYSELF more than that. So I'm going to wing it.

She was in the hospital for about a week and a half. They gave her three different diagnoses and none of them stuck.

Meningitis
Hemophalegic Migraines
Excessive Brain Fluid

She got lots of meds during her time there.

She came home on Wed of last week, slept all of Thursday, literally.

She's had termors the entire time she's been home and her mental capacity is no where near where it's been in the past. She knows it, I see it, it's driving both of us insane. It's like she's been regressed to a 13 year old mentally and she knows it.

I had to take her back in yesterday because of the tremors. They pumped her full of meds again and sent her home.

Right now all I can say is that I'm trying and I feel like not only am I failing but I"m losing my grasp on whether I give a shit or not.

I went out on Friday to de-stress and her mother pulled me aside and asked me if I was 'doing it for God'. If my decision to go out was because I was doing something for God or because I was running away.

Do I need to tell you just how ANGRY that made me?

I'm trying