Free Falling

Been a while hasn’t it? I know I promised to slow down on the personal stuff but I think you guys still deserve to know what’s going on with me especially since you’ve devoted time and attention to one guy’s life.

Yesterday I went ahead and moved out. I have to tell you that it wasn’t pretty, at all. The strange thing is that when I say it wasn’t pretty, it mainly had to deal with the MIL more than my wife. Can you imagine that? I’d spent the better part of two weeks explaining everything to my wife, breaking it down for her in a manner that I thought she would understand and in a mere ten minutes, the MIL went ahead and blew all that work out of the water by doing exactly what I was trying to avoid.

I don’t feel that I handled the last month the best way possible but it was the only way that I knew how to deal. I would go to work and then some friend’s house until about 9 to 10 and then head home. My logic was that I wouldn’t have to see my wife in that state and that I would not interfere as much in their life, knowing that I was leaving. Seems like I played it wrong because when the MIL started up on me the first thing she told me was that I was using them. That my behavior in the last month had been rude and disrespectful. (Side note: I had talked to her about a week earlier and apologized for the vanishing act. I had explained what was going through my head, I had told her how I felt and still, she didn’t get it.)

Even as I left the house and my wife KNEW, I mean she KNEW what my issue was; the MIL didn’t get it and still looked at me like a failure and a fraud.

I paid the month’s bills and left my wife some money for the month. It seems that that’s still a responsibility though I have to admit, I’m not sure how long I’m supposed to do that for. I mean honestly, she doesn’t work and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change any time soon and her mother’s looking at me like I’m a loser because of it.

Part of me wants to say that I would come back if she got all cleaned up but I don’t know that I would be able to share a roof with the MIL any longer after the words that we had yesterday.

So, your Shaman is currently spending some time with his best friend, who’s back from his honeymoon, until the room that I was promised is free and clear. I think the only concern that I currently have is that the MIL has threatened to toss all my stuff into the street on Thursday if I don’t pick it up by Wed…. where I’ll store that stuff until Sunday, I have no clue.