Sunday, August 10, 2008

Screwball Part 3

Curveball City

It’s Sunday morning for those of you who would like to know when this is being written. I’ve spent the weekend with Ariel and things aren’t clearer, in a way. In another way they’re the clearest they’ve been in a long time.

The drive up was something interesting. I live in Oregon but haven’t explored much of it. I know that farmland takes up a big chunk of the state itself. Since I’m a city boy, I never felt the desire to learn anything about the state. Salem is the state capital and it’s about an hour away from Portland, Eugene is an hour away from Salem, putting me on the road for about 2 plus hours for this little trip. Funny how the mind works though because during the time on the road I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, it never did.

Instead Ariel kept me company during the trip. I got out of work an hour earlier than usual, ran some errands and then put myself on the road to see her as soon as possible. Sadly it was a Friday night right during rush hour, so while it felt like at one point I was ahead of the pack, I was swallowed by it shortly afterward.

Things I noticed on the road about Oregon, there’s a lot of mountains, there’s a lot of farmland, trucks are forced to go 55mph, so getting behind one will do absolutely nothing but slow you down and that no matter how fast you think you’re going, there’s always someone going a bit faster.

The butterflies took the entire trip with me which was unexpected and if anything they got more active the closer I got to seeing her. It was sweet and it was a bit disturbing, I kept hoping that I would see it as no big deal at some point but it never happened.

The trip itself was uneventful. We talked about random things, music, movies, games and the like to pass the time. Once I got to Eugene some of the excitement happened. Kevin, the husband, wanted me to come in one way and Ariel had a different idea of how to get me to their house. I got lost… never a fun experience. Less so when you’re already nervous and that only makes it worse. Kevin was able to lead me into the area that I needed to be in to get to their house and the first thing that I’m greeted with is a man in a kilt, standing outside his house and guiding me. Meet Kevin.

About 5’3, long hair, though not as long as mine, bright smile and a mischievous personality; I like him instantly, can I just say, fuck? Yea I will, fuck.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad that I like him instantly but in another place and time this guy could’ve been a good friend and right now I’m not feeling it. Not because he’s rude, or crass, just the situation itself doesn’t really lend to being buddy buddy. I live two hours away, it’s not like I can come down for a night of boozing with the guy, if I’m in town, it’s going to be for a very good reason and he’s going to be the last person that I’m going to invite to hang with me. Sadly this tears at me a bit, not much but enough to throw me off a bit.

So Cast of Characters:

Kevin – cause I’m lazy and just introduced him.

Albert- Wow. Yea… um he also tried to get me to the house and was doing really well, if he was using directions to get me to the house from the RIGHT area. He was quoting directions from a different highway to me…. It was funny. He’s a cool guy just a bit, eccentric to say the least. He’s probably about 5’5 and 102 soaking wet. Think of a sturdy twig and you’ll have an idea of what he looks like. Nickname seems to be Spider-Monkey on Crack… cause he can climb any surface, any surface…no I didn’t ask so I can’t tell you anything more.

Pip (not actual name) is Albert’s friend. Seems that everyone else had met her that day as well. She was kinda reserved until we got her going. Lanky, blond hair, about 5’7. Think Barbie kinda but maybe like one step down. I don’t know if that makes sense. She seemed to have SOME brains but she’s the American standard right now as far as looks go, there’s a dozen of her at any mall in the nation as I type this. I’m not taking away from who she is, just laying the groundwork. Oh, I’ll explain Pip in a bit.

So, Kevin’s standing outside the house. I’m neck deep in Oregon Ducks territory, you see those little wannabe Donald’s on everyone ‘s windows, cars and houses. Even the stores have little Oregon Duck logos on them. I’m not much into college anything so it’s like walking into a bad episode of the Twilight Zone. You know like that one where the girl has the plastic surgery and she comes out looking like a fox but then they show the doctors and their disappointment and to them she’s this horrible fucking CHUD. (Clerks 2 reference)

In any event, I walk into the house and it’s a nerd’s paradise. On the walls they have posters of comic books, anime, old school movies and tons of action figures on the mantle. (Dragons included.)

For the record I’ve got a little pixie sitting next to me as I write this so if some of it doesn’t sound like my normal rambling, wave to her, she’s editing as I type.

They have several game consoles, an area where TPBs for comic series are stored and at the dining room table, there’s a game of D and D going on and I get to hear a conversation about the exploits of the man of steel versus Batman OUTSIDE of a comic store or convention. Like I said Twilight Zone, this is the norm here… how odd is that? Most of us have to hide in our rooms and chat online and here’s a house where D&D, comics and women playing WOW is common and accepted. Maybe I died and didn’t know it, it’s the equivalent of my 72 virgins! (Points if you get the reference)

Okay so I walk through the door and I take this all in. Kevin’s leading me around and for the record I did shake his hand.

So I go into the back of the house, where the kitchen is and it’s a nice kitchen, definitely built for someone with skills in cooking, which means it would go to waste with me. Albert is there, so’s Pip and I’m looking around and I haven’t seen Ariel yet. My heart’s going like a trip hammer, my brains on overdrive and I suddenly have an extremely high urge to go out and smoke a pack of cigarettes at once. Maybe that will help how I’m feeling but I know it won’t and then I hear her voice and my knees just give just a little.

There she stands my Aphrodite, and everything becomes a little crisper in my eyes. I can tell that Albert and Kevin are goofing off over something I have no clue about as Pip is trying to find something to occupy herself with because she feels out her of element. That there’s dinner that’s sitting on stove that Ariel had been preparing as I drove down. That the guys at the table are really getting into the game and the other girls in the house are trying to figure out who wrote Reign of the Supermen, that there’s a cat sitting by a pond in the backyard watching fish that aren’t there. This is all going through my mind and I’m staring at her.

She’s sitting right here, so I’m trying to focus I swear.

Can I say that she’s more beautiful than I remember her? Yes, without a doubt. I think I stopped breathing for a second. I put down the soda that I’m holding (Cause every road trip needs caffeine) and we start bridging that distance between us. Okay, more me than her but still, you know there’s that silly moment like the old movies where two people have been separated for a long time and they’re running to each other in some empty field with “Sweet Mystery of Life at last I’ve Found You” Playing in the background, yea I know.

That first moment where we’re in front of each other with less than three feet separating us is awkward, mainly because we both have an idea of how we want the hello to go but are also just aware of everything else. I do end up giving her the best hug I’ve given in some time and get it returned in kind which is all kinds of awesome.

She’s still as amazing as I remember her. Grey eyes that speak volumes without her having to say a word, blue black hair that’s short at the back with long bangs in the front. A smile that would definitely send a man into lunacy if he wasn’t able to ever see it again. I’m looking at her and I’m positive that she’s glowing and while many might attribute it to a thousand different things I would like to think that it’s a glow that’s just for me.

She made us dinner, Crab Louie, which is a cold dish, kind of like a Crab salad basically with dressing over it, it’s was very tasty. She also made a pasta dish with a homemade sauce and chicken. It was fabulous, seriously even though I was full I still went ahead and finished everything on my plate. I knew that she could cook but I was floored by two things, the first just how GOOD she can cook. I mean I’d tried her cooking before on some other things but this was outstanding! The second, that she had bothered to make anything for my coming in to see her.

Look I don’t have to tell you guys my recent track record and the things that I’m used to getting, you’ve been reading this blog and you know me. So far I’m getting blown out of the water by the effort she’s put forth just for the evening. Many might consider dinner a not big thing but I’m not one of those. People who cook for other people, there’s emotion behind that meal and you can usually tell what emotion when you get that first bite. It’ll either taste like heaven or scorched Earth and not in a good way.

She serves me up and sits across from me, though I didn’t want to sit just yet because of the long drive and my back tightening up, I did anyway, she asked and who am I to say no?

As we’re sitting eating Albert comes up behind me and playfully puts his hands around my neck. I’m not going to shy away from rough housing. Now remember the description that I gave of him, I stand up, put him in a head lock, double him over, ready to go ahead and sweep one of the legs out from under him so I can put him on the floor, pin him and prove my point. I’m halfway to doing this when he says, “Wait, wait, don’t put my back out.”


I let go and sure enough his back is out, he’s got to go sit down and I suddenly feel like the big lummox from Of Mice and Men because I don’t know my own strength and I’m also waiting for Ariel to say something to me. She doesn’t, she understands, which is nice but I still worry about the guy.

Now everyone of the cast is out in the back deck while Ariel and I begin to eat. Albert comes back in and starts retelling how he was bent over outside and Kevin was across from him, something happens between Pip and Albert, playfully, where Kevin’s white hairy ass gets exposed because the man wears his kilt traditionally, commando.

Albert’s retelling this story and says, “Man that was some hairy man ass.”

The story’s over, so I say, “How’s your back?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean how’ s it doing?”

Suddenly Albert gets this weird look in his eye.

“When I checked this morning it was fine.”

He walks away from me, lifts up his shirt and starts checking his back in the reflection. Somehow he got his wires crossed and thought that I meant he had a hairy back, which he doesn’t. So he’s standing by the reflection, bugging out and PIP started laughing which is where the name came from. It appears that she has a Pig in her Pocket. She’d sit and snort as she laugh, which got Ariel going and she’s a squeaker so we had a nice snort and squeak going for about a solid ten minutes. It was short of hysterical.

They get going and Kevin and Albert are behind the glass doors leading the orchestra.

So since I’ve come to town Kevin’s going to a strip club with Albert and Pip to spend the time. Which is fine as he’s getting ready to leave he says, “Do I have the sixth liberty?”


Seems there’s liberties and hell if I know they all are.

Ariel says, “Yes there’s some condoms in the car, take a three pack with you. How you use it is up to you. When you run out, though, you’re done. Kay?”

Open relationship remember? So what’s good for the goose is good for the gander in this situation. Still how many of us can say we’d be cool with sharing someone we love? Yea not many, me included but like I said this is a very different situation for me and everything that’s been about me has straight up gone out the window with this woman.

We finish dinner and head out to my motel room for the weekend. See she’s promised to be mine for the weekend. If this seems odd to you, think about how this is on me for crying out loud. This woman, who has plagued my dreams with apocalyptic consistency for two years, is putting everything else in her life on hold to spend the entire weekend with me. I’m all kinds of crazy over her and I’m not going to give up my time with her.

We get there, the door closes behind us and we clam up. We finally feel all that fear that we’d been holding back. In my mind’s eye I’m staring at the woman that I’ve longed for for years now. I know there’s stuff I want to say, emotions that I was to share with her, devotion that I want to offer, it’s all at the tip of my tongue but I also don’t know how she’ll take it. Will I be laughed at? Mocked? Tossed aside? Will this be the first and last time that I see her like this in my life?

Yea it’s a lot to swallow at once and I’m looking at her and she won’t even make eye contact, she’s that nervous about being in close quarters with me. I can read that she wants to be there but is also all kinds of freaked out about it. It’s not a bad thing, she’s going through the same thing that I’m going through in my own way.

We make small talk, talk about the silly things in life, talking nothing about how we feel, saying nothing about our hearts and we both know that it’s waiting to bubble up.

Slowly it starts coming out between us. Her fear was rejection, same as mine. The question that I’ve had since this all started up like it is, “Why’d you wait until after your married to call me?”

“Honestly? Because I needed to know. I’ve wanted to know for a long time but I didn’t know if I could handle you saying no without someone there to pick me up.”

This is about when we start realizing that we’re looking at a mirror and the longer the night goes the deeper that realization comes to us. It’s stopped being this small time thing that could be a tryst or could be a lost weekend, this is closer than the two of us understood.

I’m staring at those grey eyes and I’m just seeing all kinds of things that I never expected. I can feel her love for me palpably and I see in her that same light that I saw earlier. It’s brighter and pulsing and I know that she’s not pulling my leg on this one.

I know this is going to sound sad but come on now. A beautiful woman calls you out of the blue and tells you that she wants to be with you, while you’re going to love that fact, there’s still going to be something in the back of your mind that tells you “You’re going to be disappointed”.

Okay I’m distracted right now… (No I’m not telling you)

Can you say:

To be continued?

I knew you could

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