Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Screwball Part 4

Sharing emotions is hard, anyone who’s ever wanted to share the love they feel for someone else can testify to it. You look at some of the great loves in history and it’s a funny thing because it takes time for it to be revealed but once two people know the truth it burns hot and brightly like a supernova.

Sitting across from Ariel I felt that hot supernova effect for the first time myself. It wasn’t something that was worked on, it wasn’t something that felt contrived, it just was. It seared my nerve endings in a way that’s inexpressible but I knew at that moment that this wasn’t just some momentary thing but a feeling that was lasting and that would follow me to the end of my days.

How do you woo someone you’ve lost the right to though? Seriously, looking at the situation, how exactly do you say, “Yes, I know it, you’re the one for me and only you!” when they can’t say the same in the situation? We’d look at each other and smile this smile that said everything, “I can’t believe that you’re here, with me and that you think I have enough value to love.”

You guys remember that one scene in the Lion King where Simba meets Nala after they’re all grown up and they both realize that they love each other? They’re playful but bashful, both unsure of what to do next, yea that was us. Circling around each other unsure of what to say, how to hold each other, if we had the right to.

The first kiss was like fireworks. It was electric and bombastic. We’d both been waiting for who knows how long to kiss and there it was and it was as sweet as I always thought it would be. It tasted like a lazy Sunday afternoon with the one you love as you read the funnies to each other.

The weekend was a whirlwind guys. I remember each moment and by the same token could never do those moments any justice on paper. I know that I felt love, true genuine love, for the first time in a long time. I know that it felt more kinetic, electric and fated. I didn’t feel this way when my wife and I were courting. It’s a real love but one that burns you enough to let you know that it’s real.

We watched some movies, Across the Universe was WAY better than I expected it to be and we ended up singing songs from it to each other. I know that sounds REAL cheesy but we both love music, can’t live without it, so it just felt right. Neither of us was embarrassed in any way while we did it, cause it felt like a good way to exchange the feelings we had going.

We talked about our lives after our last encounter with each other. How she had gone to another job that hadn’t appreciated her, how I had moved on to a county job and started figuring out that I wasn’t ever going to be happy again.

Here’s a tidbit you, faithful reader, didn’t know, Ariel figured out I was unhappy in my marriage long before I did. She’d listen to my stories and the things that I did and she knew that I wasn’t happy, probably not appreciated and taken for granted. She could read the dedication that I gave the relationship I was in but understood that it was a dedication that I thought was important, just that it wasn’t right.

She told me little things like when I would give her a ride home every night, she wanted to reach out and hold my hand, tell me everything was alright and show me that someone cared and knew my worth. How she knew that I had this one song play every time she got into the car specifically because she had mentioned once in passing how she loved it and didn’t hear it often anymore. (My Own Worst Enemy by Lit) The way that when she brought food to the office she always made sure she saved me some so I could enjoy it.

Little things, it seems to be the best way to describe us. We remember the things that most would take for granted. Like I remembered her favorite drink was Dr. Pepper and that Cheetos were her munchie of choice. She remembered how I used to give her extra breaks just so I could talk to her for a little bit (yes folks, abuse of power).

It’s remembering those little things that got us comfortable with each other again. That night is something that I’m always going to remember because to me, it’s the start of a new chapter for me, the start of something fresh and hopefully real and long term.

So the following day we went to Empire. It’s a Chinese buffet that had pretty good food. Now I’m one of those old school fools who really only enjoys the stuff that he knows well and has a hard time trying something completely new. Ariel enjoys Sushi. I know that’s it’s supposed to be this great thing but honestly, I have issues with putting raw fish in my mouth. If we were supposed to eat crap raw, we wouldn’t have been given fire.

In any event we go and this place has decent food. It’s not to die for but it’s not really that bad either. We get there and she tells me to get my food.

“Why don’t we go up together?”

“Cause I always wait to go after Kevin gets his food.”

Yea, not going to fly with me. So we’re both looking at the buffet seeing what’s what. They have some pork ribs, pot stickers and the like. So I grab what I would usually eat and she comes back with Sushi on her plate.

So we’re sitting across from each other and doing the stupid smiles thing and she nudges a piece of Sushi my way. “Try it.”

You know how many times I’ve been asked to try Sushi? So many times I’ve gone out with friends and I’ve never tried it, I’ve just flat refused to even consider it. All she has to do is look at me once and ask and I try it without a second thought. I have to admit that it’s not bad. She had me try five different types and explained each one too me. (I can’t remember it all.. LOL)

We eat and talk some more and I excuse myself to use the bathroom. I’m not gone five minutes but I come back to the table and the bill’s already paid and she’s no where to be seen.


Fuckity fuck fuck.

She paid and left. I know she did. I was sitting there being all retarded and she was just thinking how she could get away from the weirdo. I ask the server if he’s seen her and he shakes his head.

Yes folks I had a very mild panic attack. I found her and now I lost her. Figures, good job Shaman, way to…

Then she walks out of the ladies bathroom takes one look at my face and giggles, “Silly, you thought I left didn’t you?”

Reads me like a flipping book.

The rest of the day goes the same. There’s all kinds of chemistry between us, all of it is good and just seems to get better. We talk about likes and dislikes and the similarities keep piling up.

Later that night we start talking about health. I’ve been prone to cysts on my back. I’m a diabetic and it seems that it’s just what happens. One of the spots that I had healed weird and now there’s a lump on the top of it. She’s asking about all of the scars and looks at that one and get concerned. She wants me to go get it checked out.

I’m an instigator, “Why?”

She gets quiet, chews on her bottom lip before she says, “Because I want you around for a while.”

Then we talk about her health and I get the chance to be worried.

Hasn’t had a women’s health exam in over two years, has a couple of swollen lymph nodes behind one ear, retaining lots of water and some depression. I’m no where near thrilled that she hasn’t taken care of herself. It comes down to money, or lack of it. So I get a brainstorm.

“Listen. I work for a county clinic. Talk with Kevin, I’m willing to take you down with me for a couple of weeks when you both agree to it, no strings. I can schedule you appointments for a WHE, a regular doc visit and a follow up just to make sure there’s nothing that pops out at them.”

Now when I offer this to her I don’t mean now. I’m thinking in another month or so when they’ve mulled it over I’ll get the okay, which is fine. No she picks up the phone then and there, “Hey, it’s me. Listen the Shaman is giving me the opportunity to get some doctor’s visits done. You know that I need to be seen and such for my medical stuff. I’d be gone two weeks.”

“See you later.” Is what I hear from him.


Can I just interject for a moment and tell you that if my woman, whom I just married, told me she wanted to leave for two weeks with a guy that she’s already told me she loves, I’d throw a fit? Yea, a huge two year old fit complete with screaming, crying and kicking but this guy just takes it in stride and after a two minute conversation he’s ready to hang up with her. Lolwut?

So my plans, as they were, change drastically. I’m coming home with a guest. She’s staying for two weeks and we leave the next day.

In my mind, this is what I expected Sunday to look like. I check out of my room and drive to her house, drop her off and give them time together. Let them say what they need to say to each other, talk like lovers do or whatever. I mean, I’m the third wheel in this situation, to ask for more would be stupid.

It went nothing like that. We did leave my room and head over there but I think that how I picture things is a little too romantic. He leaves because he has to get the marriage certificate for her to get a new ID, which takes him about an hour or so due to distance. He gets back and I think, okay now he’ll want to spend time with her, it’s only right and I’ll totally understand, go for a walk or something.

Not even a moment. Literally what happens is that the other roommates put in a Jet Li import and start watching, he sits right in the midst of them. He doesn’t ever look up, he doesn’t ever touch her, give her a kiss, nothing, he’s in his own world. I give him another hour or so, thinking it’ll get better but it doesn’t at all. WTF? Finally at three I ask her if she’s ready and she is, she’s packed for two weeks, bringing some movies to watch and all the other stuff she feels she’ll need. We get ready to leave and she has to call his name a couple of times to get his attention to let him know she’s leaving. He doesn’t even get up.

This was when I was writing Part 3, so in a round about way we’ve caught up to my earlier to be continued.

The good byes having been said, we head out and start a new adventure.

To be continued, come on, you know it was bound to happen.


Anonymous said...

Are they both American citizens? Maybe that's the reason they don't act lovey-dovey? Marriage of convenience, health benefits, etc.??

Anonymous said...

Yeah, lots of people are getting married for those reasons.
I know a few myself who did.

Well, a post with Lion King, Sushi, and Chinese Buffet wrapped in an exciting package is never bad.

Lion King rocks IMO

I'd go to a Chinese Buffet but I'm currently broke.
Blizzcon FTL
First time at a con or anything of that nature ever. Should be interesting >_*
I was one of the lucky ones able to get their tickets after two days.


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